Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
