party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
where are my eyebrows?
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