Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
