He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
