I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
