i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Randomize
