SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
