Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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