My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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