evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
