Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
