Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
