Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
