Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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