Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
