I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Randomize
