That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize