i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
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