I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
