just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
