you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
i came on her dog
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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