We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
