I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
