i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
