another moral hangover. fuck.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
