Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize