If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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