Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
