is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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