You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
