You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
