She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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