you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Damn victory sex feels great
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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