I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
