I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize