The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
