people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
