..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
