just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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