I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
