I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
