Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize