it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
