I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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