New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
My vagina is very pro this idea
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
