I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
