Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Rumble strips road head = magical
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
