The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Just took my morning after pill in the library
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
