Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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