there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
The ass gains better be worth it
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