I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
