he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize
