i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize