I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
