i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize