Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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