I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
