i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
