We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
