Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
