I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
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