he thought i was a dude.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize