ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
