do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
