Need sex. Gaining weight.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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